


heartbreak girl

by smartlove



Series: i love you, i want us both to eat well. [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Can I make it anymore obvious?, Childhood Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Trans Female Character, Trans Lee Jeno, Trans Male Character, Trans Mark Lee (NCT), jeno's a skater girl, mark's a book nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26742814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartlove/pseuds/smartlove
Summary: “Listen to this," Mark insists, "‘I am reduced to a thing that loves Virginia, you have broken down my defences and I don’t resent it'.Isn’t that so romantic?”Jeno doesn’t look convinced, but she pinches Mark’s cheek and coos, “My little Markie, you're such a sap,”Mark pulls away, hitting her on the shoulder with his book. “You suck,”Mark is convinced that Jeno will be the death of him, and yet, he finds he doesn't mind too much.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Mark Lee
Series: i love you, i want us both to eat well. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946608
Comments: 13
Kudos: 53





	heartbreak girl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [venusbot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/venusbot/gifts).



> dear venusbot, i love you. i want us both to eat well. 
> 
> hi i wrote this entire thing in one day during the midst of the busiest quarter of my school year [takes a gay little bow].
> 
> I've only known mark and jeno from this universe for a day but i love them dearly and I will definitely be adding to this series. this won't be the last you hear from literature obsessed he/they mark lee and skater girl, mark obsessed jeno!

The skateboard ramp in Jeno’s backyard has been through hell and back. It’s a plain old thing that Mark and Jeno spent an entire afternoon building. They made it out of scrapped pieces of wood and with tools they barely knew how to use. At the end of the day, Jeno’s dads had to step in and fix the ramp so it wouldn’t be a hazard to any unsuspecting skateboarder. 

The wood is chipped and the ramp is wonky, but that didn’t stop Jeno from using it every single day. The entire surface is covered in silly little drawings—that was Mark’s doing. Sometimes, when he grew bored of watching Jeno trying and failing to master various skateboard tricks, he would pull out their trusty sharpie and doodle all over the ramp. Mark’s favourite is a drawing he did of the pair of them. He gave himself spiky hair and gave Jeno hair long enough to rival Rapunzel’s. His second favourite is the “J <3 M” he carved into the wood just to tease Jeno. 

Mark likes to watch Jeno skate. He sits on the grass in the backyard, a book opened in his lap while the girl skates to her heart's desire. She’s tried to convince them to join her before, but to no avail, Mark and wheels do not get along. He has a nasty scar on his knee to prove it. Besides, Mark is content with just observing. 

He doesn’t realise that he’s lost in thought until Jeno is towering over him, waving her hand over his face. 

“Earth to Mark,” 

They look up, squinting at Jeno. The sun shines directly behind her, circling her figure in a heavenly glow. They’re left sitting in her shadow, it protects them from the harsh rays. 

“You’re so distracted today,” Jeno comments, she bends down to grab the book from their hands, and for a split second, the sun is in their eyes again. Maybe they should just stand up. 

“ _T_ _he letters of Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf,”_ Jeno reads off the book cover, she wrinkles her nose, “God, you are so pretentious that it astounds me,” 

Mark huffs, standing up and snatching the book back from her, “They were lovers, you know,” they inform her. 

They flip through the book in search of a post-it note that they stuck into one of the pages, “Listen to this: _‘I am reduced to a thing that loves Virginia, you have broken down my defences and I really don’t resent it’._ Isn’t that so romantic?” 

Jeno doesn’t look convinced, but she pinches Mark’s cheek and coos, “My little Markie, you’re such a sap,”

Mark pulls away, hitting her on the shoulder with their book. “You suck,” 

She shrugs, “It’s cool though, old lesbian lovers-slash-writers. They should make a movie about it,” 

Mark rolls their eyes, “I forgot that it might kill you to read a book.” 

Jeno’s eyes sparkle when she looks back at Mark, “See, you get it. Let’s go inside.”

One thing Mark loves about Jeno’s house is that it’s never quiet. As soon as they step in through the back door they’re met with chaos. The twins are zooming around the kitchen like overactive puppies, one chasing the other while giggling maniacally. Somewhere in the distance, he can hear Jeno’s younger sister arguing with one of her dads—or both of them. 

“Youngmin,” Jeno scolds as they take off her shoes, “Stop chasing your brother around with whatever that is,” 

“It’s a _worm!”_ Kwangmin shrieks out, and the poor kid sounds absolutely _terrified._ “He’s chasing me with a worm!” 

Mark and Jeno look at each other, there’s a beat of silence, and then they burst out laughing. 

“I’m not too keen on touching a worm,” Jeno informs him, “I’ll let the two six-year-olds sort it out themselves,” 

Jeno’s kitchen is as vibrant and full of life as the rest of the house. The walls are painted blue, decorated with seashells, old wooden clocks and anything Jeno’s dad finds fancy at the antique store. Mark sits at the dining table, the tablecloth is cream coloured and lace today––but it is subject to change. 

Jeno opens up the freezer and pulls out a container of ice cream as well as two spoons. She hands it over to Mark and sits down in the chair next to him. 

“Didn’t your dad say he made dinner?” Mark says, recalling how he was working over a bubbling pot like it was a cauldron when Mark arrived at their house earlier that evening. 

Jeno shrugs, opening the lid to the container, “I’m craving ice cream,” 

Now _he_ is craving ice cream as well. 

“You’re a bad influence,” Mark says. 

“No one is making you eat the ice cream,” she shoots back, making a motion to pull the container away from him. Mark whines and grabs it back, his fingers just barely grazing over hers, damp with condensation.

He digs his spoon into the container and scoops some out before Jeno can take it back. 

“Guess what happened today,” Jeno says excitedly, without bothering to swallow the ice cream she just shovelled into her mouth. 

Mark scrunches his nose up in disgust, “You finally learned table manners?” 

She frowns and kicks his shin, “I’m being serious!” 

“So am I,” Mark shoots back.

_“Mark!”_

“Okay, okay,” he replies giggling, “What happened?” 

Jeno looks around conspiratorially, for no good reason either, her brothers were in the living room and he could still hear her younger sister yelling somewhere in the house. She leans all the way into Mark’s space and then whispers loudly, 

“Lucas asked me to prom,” 

Mark blinks, reeling back. _What?_

“Lucas.” he repeats, feeling slightly dumbfounded, “As in Lucas Wong?”

“Who else?” 

“Oh,” Mark says, “That’s—yeah, that’s great. Awesome. Super cool.” 

“Isn’t it?” Jeno gushes, “It took me completely off guard too, like he found me after chem class and just asked, I didn’t even know he was into me,”

Mark swallows thickly, this isn’t sitting right with him. Not at all. 

“Are you into him?”

Jeno hums, resting her chin in her palm as she contemplates the question. Her hair falls over her eyes, Mark resists the urge to push it behind her ears. 

“I dunno,” she answers casually, “I could be, he’s cute,” 

“But it’s _prom,_ ” Mark stresses out, “Wouldn’t you rather go with someone you really like?” 

“I don’t see the big deal,” Jeno replies, “Besides, no one else asked me out,”

Mark deflates, he missed his chance. He’s been trying to find the words to ask Jeno to prom all week, and losing the nerve each time. He waited too long and now it’s too late. Stupid Lucas.

Jeno catches his eye, sending him a worried glance. 

“You’re upset,” she says.

Jeno was too perceptive for her own good. 

“Is it because you don’t have a date?” 

And yet, incredibly dense. It’s a talent, really.

Mark shakes his head, about to defend himself but she continues,“Because I’ve heard through the grapevine that Renjun Huang has his eye on—”

She’s cut off as Yeojin, Jeno’s younger sister, storms in through the kitchen door. Her eyes are rimmed with red and she’s pouting. She catches sight of the pair and huffs, marching over and stealing Jeno’s spoon to take her own bite of ice cream. 

“I hate papa,” she says through her mouthful. Bad manners must run in the family. 

Jeno sighs, shooting Mark an apologetic look at the interruption. But Mark is grateful for it, he would buy Yeojin a lifetime supply of ice cream if it meant she kept interrupting his difficult conversations with Jeno. 

“What did he do now?” Jeno asks. 

“He won’t let me go out with my friends tonight,” 

Jeno gives her a look, “Yeojin, it’s a school night,” 

“I’ve done all my homework!” she says indignantly, “and I’m only going out with a few friends, it’s not a party or anything,” 

Jeno raises an eyebrow, “Which friends?”

“Chenle and stuff,” Yeojin says, refusing to meet Jeno’s eyes. 

“Stuff?” 

“And Chaewon… and Jisung,” her cheeks tint just the slightest bit, she doesn’t look at either of them. Suddenly finding the container of ice cream to be much more interesting. 

Jeno exchanges a look with Mark, a brilliant smile encompassing her entire face. 

“Jisung huh?” she teases, “Is that why you wanna go so badly?”

Yeojin rolls her eyes, jabbing her sister in the arm. 

Jeno just giggles, “Okay, I’ll talk to papa and try convince him,” 

Yeojin brightens up immediately, “You will?”

Jeno nods, “Course I will. I was in your shoes once before, oh how I miss the days of sneaking out through my bedroom window to see my first ever crush,” Her voice turns wistful, a dreamy look taking her over. Mark rolls his eyes. He remembers Jeno’s first crush all too well. And each one after. 

Jeno pauses, giving Yeojin a warning look, “Not that I’m encouraging you to sneak out. If you ever do that I’ll kill you before dads do,” 

Yeojin rolls her eyes, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” 

She waves goodbye to Mark before leaving back through the kitchen door. 

Jeno tuts, “Not even a thank you, kids these days have no manners,” 

Mark shakes his head, “She must have learned from you,” 

Jeno makes an offended noise, brandishing her spoon at him like a sword, “Take that back,” 

Mark giggles, clinking their spoons together. “I only speak the truth,” 

“Anyways,” Jeno begins, “As I was saying before my sister so _rudely_ interrupted us—”

“Um, actually,” Mark cuts in, he really doesn’t want to talk about prom again, “I should probably get going,” 

Jeno blinks, “What?”

“I just remembered that I have to be home for dinner,” he says quickly, he knows the tips of his ears are burning red—he’s always been a terrible liar. He stands up from the barstool and picks up his backpack. 

Jeno’s eyebrows furrow, “But—”

“Sorry,” Mark says before rushing out through the kitchen door. He grabs his shoes and leaves before Jeno can stop him. 

When he leaves Jeno’s house, he starts running. And he doesn’t stop running until he’s home, hands on his knees and taking shallow breaths. Body unused to getting this much exercise. 

He’s on his front porch, leaning against the railing.

 _Coward,_ a tiny, mean voice in his head tells him, _Fucking coward._

Mark and Jeno are best friends. 

_“Soulmates, kindred spirits, ride or dies,”_ he can hear Jeno’s voice correcting him in his head. Claiming that a term as simple as ‘best friends’ did them little justice. _“Because our friendship transcends lifetimes and universes, Mark. We were together in our past life and I’ll find you again in our next,”_

Then Mark would blush a furious scarlet, rendered speechless by Jeno’s ability to be so casually _romantic_ without even realising. While she wouldn’t notice and go on to talk about how Mark was probably a writer in his past life while Jeno was an underground streetfighter or something equally as badass. 

She’s right, though. They weren’t best friends, not in the way best friends should be. 

Soulmates, kindred spirits, ride or dies. 

Mark and Jeno have been together their entire lives. They did everything together, joined at the hip, one never seen without the other. Hell, they even had their gender identity crises together, because they were just _that_ in tune with each other. (Mark was glad to have Jeno then, if no one else understood, at least she did. If no one else was there for him, at least she was). 

Every milestone was crossed together. Every first. 

First loose baby tooth, first Jane Austen book, first skateboarding injury, first hormone shots—

First kiss. 

It was hardly a real kiss. They were both in middle school, when everyone was having their first kisses and first school dances. When everyone was just learning who they were and who they wanted. 

Mark came to school with a fresh buzzcut that day. After weeks of convincing his mother to shave all his hair off for him, after years of despising his long hair with everything in him. Jeno ran her hands over the buzzed hair, giggling as it tickled her fingers, and told him that it looked good. 

_“It suits you,”_ she said, _“now I can actually see your dumb face,”_

Her hands moved from his hair to his cheek, staring at him with wide eyes. Her own hair was growing past her chin, curling around her ears. She asked him if he’d ever kissed anyone before. 

_“You know I haven’t,”_ he replied. 

_“Do you want to?”_ she asked. 

He nodded. She leaned in all the way and pressed a short kiss to the corner of his mouth. She barely even touched his lips. Only grazed it. It shouldn’t even count as a first kiss, as it was barely anything. But to Mark, it was everything.

And Jeno, well, she’s everything, isn’t she?

She sees the world in vibrant colour and urges Mark to do the same. She’s snarky and bites bigger than she barks. She’s also gentle, a natural caretaker, it comes with being an older sister. Every week she shows up with different coloured streaks in her hair. Pink, blue, purple, white. She jokes that it changes with her mood. 

_“Like a mermaid,”_ Mark would say, which would only earn him a pinch to his ear. 

Mark has never known a life without Jeno, nor does he want to. Which is why avoiding Jeno is proving to be difficult. In fact, it isn’t working at all. 

“There you are,” Jeno says, suddenly, startling Mark into dropping the book they had their head buried in. It’s before school and they’re sitting on the floor of the library, in an attempt to hide from Jeno. Clearly, the girl knew her too well. “You left so suddenly yesterday and I didn’t see you by the lockers. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing is wrong,” Mark says, they close the book and stand up. Jeno’s dressed in a black crop top that she must have cropped herself based on the uneven hem, paired with baggy black jeans and a mesh inside t-shirt. She’s staring at Mark with worried eyes, lined with red eyeliner and shades of purple eyeshadow. Jeno loves to experiment with makeup, she’s been watching videos since she was a little kid. Mark’s not as good as her but sometimes they match their eyeshadow or lipstick when they go out together. 

Jeno snatches the book from Mark, frowning at the cover. 

“ _Pride and Prejudice_ ,” she says. No, she accuses. And Mark knows that they’re busted, “This is your comfort book. You _are_ upset, why are you lying to me?” 

Mark huffs and snatches it back, “I’m _not._ Can’t I reread this just because I feel like it?” 

“No,” Jeno replies, giving Mark a hard stare. They stare back, refusing to relent. She gives up, sighing, “Fine then, don’t tell me what’s wrong,”

Mark lifts their chin in defiance, “I won’t,”

“Good. Because I don’t care,” 

“Neither do I,” 

There’s a beat of silence. 

_“Come on, Mark!”_

“Jeno! Drop it!” they insist. Mark doesn’t even know how to tell her what’s wrong. _Yeah it’s no big deal I’m just upset that you’re going to prom with Lucas Wong because I want to go with you. By the way I’m in love with you and I’m pretty sure I have been my entire life el-oh-el._

Yeah, there’s no way that was happening.

“Just tell me it’s not because of something I did,” Jeno says, her voice is gentler now. Insecurity slipping through the cracks. 

Mark deflates, how could they even think about being upset with Jeno? She’s done nothing wrong, it was Mark’s own brain that was being stupid. Guilt washes over them. 

“Of course not, Jen,” they say, “Don’t worry about it, I was just being stupid and getting in my own head,” 

Jeno chews on her lip in worry, it made the berry coloured lipstick catch on her teeth. 

“You sure?” 

He nods, “One hundred percent,” 

“Okay,” Jeno says, still sounding unsure. But the worried look behind her eyes fades and is replaced with something brighter, “Let me know the next time your brain is being mean to you though, I can take their sorry ass in a fight,” she brings her fists up in a fighting stance as if to prove her point. 

Mark giggles, ruffling her hair, “I’m sure you can,” 

She scowls, breaking her stance to fix her hair. 

“By the way,” she says as they start walking out of the library, “Do you want to go to the thrift store with me after school? I need to find something for prom,” 

The sinking feeling is back in Mark’s stomach, they ignore it in favour of being there for their friend. 

“Yeah sure, maybe I can find something for myself too,”

A grin breaks like dawn across Jeno’s face, “Can’t wait.” 

“Look at this TikTok,” Jeno says to Mark, shoving her phone in his face. They’re on the bus, on their way to the thrift store downtown. Mark is leaning his back against the window, legs thrown over Jeno’s lap. The girl doesn’t seem to mind, she idly fiddles with the rips in Mark’s jeans, fingers just trailing across his skin. 

Mark watches the TikTok, and to no one’s surprise, it’s another skater attempting to do some stupid stunt.

“He skates off the roof!” Jeno says excitedly, waving her hands around and attracting the attention of the people around them, “That’s insane, I need to try that,” 

“Absolutely not,” Mark says with finality, “Skateboarding off your roof is where I draw the line.” 

Jeno pouts, the afternoon sun shines in through the window, lighting her up brilliantly. The sun seems to go where Jeno goes, like it’s her own personal spotlight. 

“Then I’ll skate off _your_ roof,”

“How is that any better?”

Jeno shrugs, “Your house is only one storey,” 

“You’re insane,” he says, “Balls to the walls, loose screws and no marbles kind of insane,” 

Jeno only grins like she’s thrilled at this fact. She leans over and plants a kiss straight onto Mark’s cheek, “Love you too, Markie.” 

Mark freezes, his cheeks ignite like they are on fire. Balls to the walls. He only kicks at her legs in response, she retaliates by wrapping her hand around his ankle and pulling him further into her lap. 

One day Mark Lee will die at the hands of Jeno Lee. And he won’t even be mad about it. 

The thrift store downtown is Mark’s favourite place to shop. He spends his summers volunteering there. It’s a charity store for their local rest home, the elderly woman who runs the store is particularly fond of Mark. Her name is Maggie and she hates it when they call her aunty, so they make sure to do so each time. Maggie’s dusting off the furniture display when they enter, brightening up when she sees Mark. She greets him with a pinch on the cheek. 

“Mark Lee!” she scolds, “It’s been far too long since you last visited me,” 

He rubs his cheek, and then pouts at her, “Sorry, Aunty, I’ve been busy with school,” 

The older woman only rolls her eyes, “Excuses, excuses,” she tuts. 

She turns to Jeno, who is eyeing the figurines displayed atop the furniture with interest. She pinches Jeno’s ear. 

“You won’t even greet me?” Maggie huffs out, crossing her arms, “You kids have no manners,” 

Jeno yelps, rubbing at her ears to soothe them and looking sheepish. “Sorry Aunty, how are you? How are the grandkids? How much is the dolphin figurine?”

Maggie glares, but it's nothing if not playful, “One-hundred dollars if you’re buying,” 

Jeno only sends her a charming smile, she links her arm with Mark’s and pulls him closer. 

“And if Mark’s buying?”

Magge winks at him, “Two bucks,” 

“Score!” Jeno cheers, grabbing the figurine from its stand. “Thanks Aunty, we’ll be in the clothing section if you need us!” She pulls Mark along with her as she walks. 

“I don’t appreciate you using me to get discounts,” he grumbles. 

“Why not?” Jeno says distractedly, as she rifles through one of the clothing racks, “You need to to start using your good looks for the greater good.” 

Mark snorts, “Good one,” he says dryly. 

Jeno pauses, turning back to face Mark, “What? You don’t think you're good looking?”

“Don’t tease me,” Mark says, turning back to search through the racks himself. 

Only, Jeno doesn’t let it go that easily. She tugs on Mark’s shirt to get him to look at her. 

“Don’t get all shy on me now,” she says, “Dude, you’re like, attractive as hell,” 

Mark’s insides feel like they might explode. Everything is hot hot hot. 

He scoffs, “Okay, _dude_ ,” 

“I’m serious, Mark,” she insists, “You’re the hottest guy at our school. Good looks, better personality _and_ you can read? What’s not to like?” 

Jeno fans her face like she’s pretending to swoon. She’s teasing, Mark knows she is. But it doesn’t stop him from going red, it doesn’t cease the fire at the pit of his stomach. 

“If I agree with you will you stop talking about this?” 

Jeno grins, “Maybe. But you need to learn how to brag about yourself,” 

“Why would I when I have you to brag about me?” Mark shoots back. 

Jeno hums, turning her attention back to the clothes, “I suppose that’s true,” her eyes light up as she catches something on the rack. She pulls it out and holds it up for Mark to see. It’s a white dress, baggy and long sleeved. It trails right down the floor. “I bet you’d look even hotter in this,” Jeno says, wiggling her eyebrows. 

Mark’s eyes widen. For _him?_ He’s never worn anything quite that _bold_ before. He’s not a fan of standing out. 

“I don’t know,” he says. 

“ _Come on,_ ” Jeno insists, “It’s literally perfect for you. We can find a nice blazer to pair it with,” She hands the dress over to Mark before they can protest, and marches down the aisle with a sense of newfound purpose. Mark sighs and reluctantly follows. They reach the blazer section and Jeno looks through them, aggressively pushing the ones she dislikes to the side. 

“Oh my god,” she says, pulling out a pair of navy blue blazers, “These match! How cute would it be if we showed up to prom in matching blazers?!” 

Mark raises an eyebrow up at her, “Jeno, why would you match with me if you’re going with Lucas?” 

Her shoulders slump, as if just realising this. “Oh, right,” she says a bit defeatedly. 

Mark can’t help but feel like they said something wrong. They were only being truthful, right?

“Whatever,” Jeno says, handing one of the blazers to Mark and putting the other one back on the rack, “At least tell me you’ll try on the dress,” 

Mark takes it from her, “Fine, I’ll try it on,” 

Surprisingly, Mark loves it. He finds a golden belt that compliments it well. He looks good. Attractive, even. He feels silly even thinking that. Jeno managed to worm her way into his head. He stares at himself in the mirror of the changing room, and he can’t quite believe that the person staring back is him. He thinks he looks a little bit like Princess Leia. White dress, gold belt, all he needs is a gun. 

It feels good, it feels right. 

“Mark,” Jeno calls from the changing room next to his, “Can you help me with my zipper?” 

“Be right there,” Mark says, stealing one last look at himself. 

He leaves his changing room, knocking on the door to Jeno’s before letting himself in. 

Jeno’s back is facing him when he enters, she’s staring into the mirror and catches his eye. Turning around to face him.

“Holy shit,” she breathes out, “You look, _holy shit_ ,” 

“Does that mean you like it?” he asks, pulling at his dress so it flares out a little bit. 

“I love it,” Jeno replies, “You look amazing,” 

He scratches the back of his head—a nervous tic—and forces out an awkward laugh, “Thank you?” 

“It’s just a compliment, Mark Lee,” Jeno says, rolling her eyes but her tone is undoubtedly fond, “Try not to break into hives,” 

She turns back around to face the mirror, gesturing towards her zipper. 

Mark moves in closer, hand going up to touch the small of her back. His fingers brush against her skin as he pulls the zipper all the way up. The girl shivers from his touch. The velvet of the dress is soft under his skin, his hands trail back down to her waist, the dress hugs it well. 

When he pulls away, Jeno observes herself in the mirror, smoothing out the wrinkles of her dress. She turns around to look at Mark. 

“How do I look?” 

“Beautiful,” Mark says, “As you always are.” 

There’s no other way to describe the dress then that it’s wholeheartedly _Jeno._ It’s black, for one. The hem stops just below her thighs. Her shoulders are bare, the sleeves are mesh and completely see through. 

Her eyes shine at the compliment, a genuine smile adorning her face. Jeno is at her most beautiful when she smiles. It brightens her entire face, it pulls a smile from those around her, even Mark. Especially Mark. 

“Look at us,” he says, gesturing between the two of them, “Decked out in black and white,” 

“The angel to my devil,” Jeno says easily. Her tone is light, but she’s still staring at Mark like he gifted her the planets, like he robbed the stars for her, like he’s the one taking her to prom. 

Maybe that’s what leads him to blurt out his next words. Or maybe it’s just his general lack of a brain to mouth filter. 

“Don’t go to prom with Lucas,” 

Jeno blinks, and their moment is shattered like the stained glass of church windows. 

“What?” 

He could go on, bare his soul out to Jeno. Confess the thoughts that have been haunting him the longest time. This would be the perfect moment. 

But he doesn’t, because Mark may put on a pretty dress and feel like a whole new person for a few glorious minutes. But he’s still the same old coward. 

“Nothing,” he says, “Just—pretend I didn’t say anything,” 

Before Jeno can reply, Mark leaves the changing room and disappears back into his own. They change back to their regular clothes in silence. 

Mark has managed to make things weird. Big shocker. His desperation to keep his feelings for Jeno a secret versus his inability to keep his mouth shut. Unstoppable force versus an immovable object. 

Jeno has been avoiding him since their awkward bus ride back from the thrift store. She didn’t show him a single TikTok on the way home, not one! 

There is no feeling worse than being ignored by Jeno Lee. It’s a punishment meant for only those in the ninth circle of hell. Dante said so himself. 

It’s been three days of Jeno avoiding Mark and he can not handle it. He’s weak. He needs to fix things and he needs to fix them quickly.

So Mark goes to Jeno’s favourite hiding place, the skatepark.

Just like a fish to water or an eagle to the sky, Jeno is right there in her element, skating one of the most difficult ramps in the park. 

He waits at the edge of the ramp, waiting for her to finish and notice him standing there. When she does, she scowls at him. Her hair is tied up in space buns, purple stray hairs falling into her eyes, it makes her glare completely redundant—not that he was going to tell her that. 

“You’re avoiding me,” he accuses. 

She slams her foot down on the edge of her skateboard, sending it flying upwards and catching it in the air with a practiced skill. 

“You’re being weird,” she accuses right back. 

He shrugs, he can’t deny that, “Let’s take a walk?” 

Jeno sighs, she stares at Mark, long and hard, and then agrees. 

They walk along the border of the park until they hit a clearing of trees. They knew this park like the back of their hands, this particularly clearing has always been Jeno’s favourite. She’s fond of the different coloured trees and the different kinds of birds that they attracted. 

Right now, Jeno isn’t looking at Mark. She’s looking up at the trees in search of the birds. The wind sweeps her hair back, her eyes twinkle as she spots a black bird amongst the yellow leaves. 

“I’m in love with you,” Mark says, like they’re in a trance. It flows out easily. And entirely without their permission. 

Jeno’s head snaps to face Mark, an unreadable expression taking over her face. In all the years that Mark has known Jeno, she’s never been unreadable. 

“You’re what?” she asks. 

It’s been spoken out loud now, heard by the trees and the wind, there’s no use denying it any longer. 

“I’m in love with you,” they say again. 

They don’t make any move to get closer to her nor do they say anything else. They just wait. 

Jeno only stares. She stares and she stares. Is she rendered speechless? Is she overwhelmed? Does she hate Mark now? They can’t tell, and it’s killing them that they can’t tell. 

Every nerve in Mark’s body is telling them to run away, save themself while he still can. They did it back at Jeno’s house, they did it back at the thrift store. They could do it again. 

But they don’t, because they want to hear Jeno’s answer. Even if it’s stone-cold rejection, they need to hear it. 

Only Mark doesn’t get to. Because Jeno is the one who runs this time. 

She moves as if the wind is carrying her, dropping her board onto the footpath just off the clearing and kicking off. 

Mark doesn’t know what to think. 

Jeno hasn’t replied to any of his texts or calls. She won’t even respond to the pictures of cats Mark spammed her phone with, which was usually her Achilles heel. He gets it, she probably needs space. All signs point to Jeno not liking him back, Jeno being weirded out by him, Jeno most likely hating his guts now. (Okay, maybe the latter was a bit of a reach, but it’s been eight hours since Mark confessed to Jeno and he’s spent the entire time overthinking). 

He just wishes Jeno would talk to him. In love or not, he needs his best friend. 

It’s midnight and Mark is wide awake. He’s laying on his stomach, chin buried into a pillow while he watches _Pride and Prejudice_ on his laptop. All the lights are off, leaving for the pale glow which illuminated from the laptop. 

There’s a knock at his window, it’s so quiet that he almost misses it. He pauses his movie and gets up. Feet shuffling against the carpet. He sits at his bay window and pulls the curtains open. 

There Jeno is, under the moonlight, crouching on his rooftop and asking to be let in. And who is Mark to deny her?

He opens the window and makes space for Jeno to sit next him. It’s a tight fit but they make it work. The night breeze flows in through the open window, outside, he can hear crickets chirping. Fitting, he thinks. 

Jeno’s wearing an oversized hoodie that reaches her knees, it must belong to one of her dads. It’s paired with fishnet stockings, there’s a tear on her shin. 

“You ripped your fishnets,” Mark says. 

She shrugs, “It got caught on a tree branch on the way up, I’ll survive,” 

Mark nods, unsure of what else to say. He waits for Jeno. 

“I’ve been an idiot lately,” Jeno says, she’s not looking at Mark, her eyes fixate on the wallpaper behind him instead. “I’m sorry,”

“You don’t have to—”

“Let me speak,” she meets Mark’s eyes, “Please?”

He closes his mouth and nods. 

“I shouldn’t have run away,” she says, wearing the ghost of a smile, “That was _so_ Mark Lee of me,” 

Mark gives a wet sort of laugh. Jeno could be going in either direction at this point, he couldn’t tell.

“I should have stayed and heard you out,” Jeno swallows nervously, she’s picking at her nail polish, “You caught me off guard, you know? And when I got home, it just all clicked into place. Why you were so weird about prom—and that day at the thrift store,” 

“ _Fuck,_ I’m horrible with words,” Jeno breathes out, she runs a hand through her hair, her hands won’t stop moving, “What I’m trying to say is that I love you too, Mark,” 

“You— _what?”_

When Mark looks back on this moment, he won’t be proud of his poor reaction. But right now, he truly can not believe what he’s hearing. 

Jeno only giggles, she still looks nervous. She turns to face Mark, pulling her knee up on the seat. She brings her hands up to cup Mark’s cheek and leans in close. 

“I am reduced to a thing that loves Mark Lee,” she whispers, gently running her thumb over his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into her touch, “You have broken down my defences,” 

“And I really don’t resent it,” Mark finishes for her, choking up by just how perfect Jeno’s confession is. He opens his eyes and he knows they’re shining with unshed tears. Because Jeno looks exactly the same, “I think you are my dream girl. I love you.” 

Jeno presses their foreheads together, her smile is so big and so bright. The moon doesn’t feel so far away, it feels like it’s right there, in front of him. 

“I love you too,” Jeno says, like she can’t say it enough, “Take me to prom,” 

Mark leans back, “What about—”

“I spoke to Lucas, he understands. Says he’s happy for us,” 

Mark giggles, “Poor guy,” 

Jeno pulls him back in, until they are barely inches away. Jeno is holding him so gently, like he’s an injured bird in her palms. In that moment, Mark wonders how he could ever doubt that Jeno loved him. He feels breathless, he feels so _lucky._ He hopes he and Jeno find each other like this again in their next lives. He hopes they had happy endings in their past lives. 

Jeno’s teeth are worrying at her bottom lip. Mark reaches up pulling her lip away tenderly with his thumb. Her lips are red and shining, and suddenly, Mark can’t stop staring at them. 

“Go ahead,” Jeno whispers, “Ask me,” 

Mark straightens up. 

“Jeno Lee,” they declare, “When we were in middle school, you kissed me outside of homeroom and I haven’t stopped thinking about it ever since. Can I kiss you again?” 

Jeno giggles, rolling her eyes, “Must you turn everything into a declaration?” 

“I must,” Mark says, voice full of mirth, “I’m a romantic,” 

“You’re an idiot,” Jeno says fondly. She leans in and kisses him. 

Whatever remark Mark had died on their tongue. They wrap their arms around Jeno and pull her close. She brings her other knee up, settling herself comfortably in Mark’s lap, towering over him as they kissed. It doesn’t last very long, because Jeno is smiling, and it makes Mark smile too. Soon enough, their teeth clash and they are forced to pull apart in a fit of giggles. 

Jeno barely pulls back, she noses at Mark’s cheek and leaves kisses there. Mark moves their hand to hold hers, intertwining their fingers and realising they’ve never done that before. 

“I was watching Pride and Prejudice,” they mumble, bringing her hand up and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “Do you want to finish it with me?” 

Jeno smiles softly, the apples of her cheeks colouring with pink, “I’d love to.” 

**Author's Note:**

> somehow both mark and jeno in this gave me gender envy.  
> [mark's prom dress](https://www.instagram.com/p/CEnfLSMjr8G/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link)  
> [jeno's prom dress](https://akolzol.com/product/goth-dark-mesh-vintage-gothic-dresses-egirl-2020-aesthetic-transpanent-strap-pleated-dress-chic-punk-hip-hop-grunge-emo-y2k-chic/)  
> let me know what you think!! all thoughts are appreciated, see u the next time i procrastinate.


End file.
